Being with a person who avoids commitment is not easy and sometimes can never be changed. There are many people who feel responsible or find ways to blame themselves for their partner not wanting to commit to them. Are you questioning yourself, believing that it is possible that it is something you are doing that is keeping you from getting the commitment you want? It could be, but 9/10 of the times, it is not.
So if it is not you and you and your lover are having a good relationship, then why does he or she not want to fully commit to you? The truth is, there could be a various amount of answers to that question, for it is different for everyone. However, there are common reasons why many people choose not to commit, and that main reason is fear. It could very well be that your partner never really experienced a fully committed relationship, or perhaps they had a particular experience in a past relationship that now has him or her afraid to approach another commitment. There could be deeper reasons, but these are the most common. Another reason many men and women fear commitment is because they are convinced that if they give their lover a full commitment, they will suddenly have their freedom taken away from them, disallowing them to be their true selves or doing the things they like to do and plan to do in the future.
Can you help improve this situation and get your lover to finally commit to you? Yes, there are ways you and your partner can work together in reaching this goal of commitment, but is not something you can achieve all on your own. The best thing you can do if you are involved with someone who cannot commit is to have a talk with him or her about it and ask him or her what exactly is making him or her doubt commitment so much. The next best thing you can do is be patient and give your lover the re-assurance that they are free to be whoever they want to be and that they can continue to do the things they like to do, and continue to plan the plans they have for their personal self. If they still avoid commitment after a while, then perhaps you should go to couple's counseling, or ask yourself just how long you are willing to wait for you lover to pop the big question of commitment!