Monday, December 1, 2008

Finding a Fulfilling Happy Relationship

Finding someone to be in a relationship is actually quite easy. Finding someone to be in a relationship that actually fulfills you, however, is a different story. So how do you find a relationship that truly fulfills your needs and desires? Setting your priorities straight and having realistic expectations will help guide you into the right direction in finding the relationship you have always wanted. Before you can do that though, you need to make sure that you feel fulfilled on your own first.

So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them. Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise.

Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks. If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else. Majority of people would read this say of course, its common sense and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first.

So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.

Attraction is naturally going to be important to you, and it should be- for no relationship can really start or survive unless both partners are genuinely attracted to each other. Attraction, however, is not enough and before you decide to jump into a relationship with a person you are strongly attracted to, you are going to make sure that he or she also has the other important qualities that you are looking for in a partner. This is why you need to take it slowly and not rush into anything, just because you feel strongly attracted to someone.

There are many cases where people jump into a relationship based mainly on attraction, with an assumption (or hope) that the person will end up having all the qualities. When time passes and the person realizes that their partner is not who they thought or hoped they were, they are already deeply involved and often look at their partners as who they wished they were, rather than who they really are- and end up stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. So the key to finding a fulfilling relationship is to never lose direction and to always remind yourself of what your real needs are, so that you do not end up in a relationship that does not meet your standards. There is a difference between compromises certain differences, and settling for a less-than-satisfying relationship. You also need to decide exactly what you are prepared to offer another person, so that you do not end up an overwhelming relationship that you were not ready for. Once you understand your real needs and the qualities you are seeking and understand your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, you will know exactly what to look for and will not get trapped dating anyone who does not fulfill you.

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