Saturday, December 6, 2008

Changing the way you look at Yourself

Day by day, the majority of us have a painful war with ourselves. It is a constant fight that includes constant criticism, pressure, anger, sadness and endless cruel comparisons. It is an everyday struggle that gets in the way and keeps you from seeing yourself for who you really are and achieving your true purposes in life. Where did this war begin and why?

The answer to that question can be answered in a well-known and very often used word: Self-Esteem. What exactly does self-esteem mean? Self-Esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. The word "esteem" itself, means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding yourself thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Unfortunately, most people suffer from this, but the good news is, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, inviting and living a high self-esteem instead.

Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.

Accomplishing high self-esteem will not happen in an instant. It requires hard work and constant reassurance. When working on achieving high self-esteem, know that it can never and will never be achieved as long as you keep negative ingredients involved, such as giving up. This is one of the biggest reasons you look at yourself in such a valueless manner. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because "giving up" is partnered with another negative ingredient named "laziness". The truth is, you do wish to change the way you look at and feel about yourself, but you have grown to become too lazy to do anything about it. Why? For the factual reason that you find it easier to stay in the place and position that you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. You may not have noticed, as most of the other low self-esteemed don't, that you now crave and need to feel sorry for yourself and subconsciously enjoy victimizing yourself and grabbing negative attention from others. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is difficult. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.

Once you have realized and accepted these facts, you can begin your boosting process. Begin by becoming a best friend to yourself instead of an enemy. With this best friend, you, stand up for yourself and face that low self-esteem in the face, along with all the fears that come with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you do not feel sorry for yourself anymore and that you have the power and strength to feel and be happy, confident and successful, and you will do it because you are valuable and deserve it, just as anyone else would. Reassuring yourself is a big key to staying focused and improving the way you feel about yourself and the life you live. So do not be afraid to face yourself, and every time you do look at yourself and observe the things that go on around you, take notes of the positive things and the things you do like and admire about yourself.

Another essential thing you must stop doing is comparing yourself to others. You are you and not anyone else, and never will be anyone else. People are different and are created with different packages and talents. You are different and unique and hold talents and qualities that no one else has and will never have, and that is something to take pride in and love about you. Concentrate on learning and knowing that you are special, lovable, capable and very much acceptable. It all begins with accepting yourself, and you are the most important person to receive acceptance from. Once you have received official approval and acceptance from yourself, everything and everyone else around you will do the same and follow.

Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.

When you do come to times where you are not satisfied with the way you look or the things you have done, shift your mind and soul over to a positive side, pointing out the things you are happy with and feel great about, and always reward yourself for it. Treat yourself to something special that you will enjoy and feel fabulous about, and remind yourself that tomorrow is another day, which comes with brand new opportunities and more chances. Lastly, make your presence appear only around other positive people and other positive energies. Maintaining a healthy and high self-esteem will be successful if you continue to motivate and encourage it. So get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start changing the way you feel about and look at yourself. You deserve to happy and confident, because you are a fantastic and very special individual. You can do it and you know you can!

1 comment:

faye said...

hi grace
passing here and read half of this hehe to be continue...