Monday, January 26, 2009

The Master and I…

I’m not religious actually..I believe in God, I follow His words though sometimes as I walk the Road of Life I stumble and disobey Him. I respect people who adore God or Jesus and utter His words so shamelessly loud but I guess I can’t be like them..I’m just me, I’m not proud that I had sometimes forsaken Him, I am guilty that I sometimes disobey Him, I am very much aware that I sometimes neglect to hear His words..but my relationship with God is somewhat a different one..I sometimes call God when I’m in deep trouble or loneliness and frequently thank Him for all the blessings but most of the time I don’t ask for His guidance everyday. I love God, I fear and respect Him as His child but I am not like the others who are religious, the others who strictly follow the will or rules of God, who declare and tell the world about God and their relationship with Him. True, I am spiritually half empty and my relationship with God is on and off but despite my mixed feelings of emptiness and farness and doubt about His existence, something deep within me believes He is still around. I still believe deep in my heart that He still exists and He is forgiving despite my flaws and imperfect relationship with Him..There is still that belief and that hope within me that I love God and that He loves me..Bottom line is I am not religious..I just have this silent, discreet, little relationship with Him..I am not proud of my imperfect relationship with Him but it’s just me..just being me..just being true to myself..maybe someday step by step this little relationship of mine with the Master will flourish but right now this is just what I have with Him.

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